Once again, Brian and Stewie get involved in an adventure thanks to Stewie’s time machine. This time, Native Americans are the dominant race in America thanks to Family Guy’s baby and dog providing guns to them during the colonization of 17th-century Jamestown, VA.

    To correct the alteration of history, Stewie and Brian go back in time to confiscate the guns. After fixing their mess, Stewie realizes his time machine causes nothing but trouble. He destroys it (along with numerous future Family Guy episodes and plot twists) by crushing the machine at the local junkyard.

    Brian points out that there is great stuff at the junkyard. Stewie shoots that idea down right away. “I don’t know, it’s mostly twin matresses,” Stewie says. “If you have a twin mattress aren’t you pretty much a failure as a human being?” Steiwe has a point there. As a kid, sleeping in a twin is fine. If you’re an adult, invest in something, man.


    The duo take home a hockey net. They set up to play hockey in the street. Stewie, always the subject of ambiguous sexuality, must get his knee pads from upstairs because “he was doing this other thing.” Before we get a chance to appreciate the joke, Brian’s demise happens in an instant. That’s right, the family’s dog falls victim to a speeding car. Brian gets viciously run over — it’s kind of graphic.

    Brian dies in a very sad, heart-wrenching scene in which all the family members cry. Characters have died before in the past, so surely Brian will be back at the end of the episode, right?

    The family returns home in a somber mood. “Guys, I’m gonna need a few minutes alone upstairs,” Peter say. “I gotta do like a sad yank.” Brian’s funeral doesn’t lighten the mood. Is this major character really dead? Stewie wants to build another time machine to alter history, but the parts aren’t available. This really could be the end of Brian.

    Lois comes to terms with the fact that to get over Brian, they must get a dog. Vinny, a gangster dog straight out of Goodfellas, gets chosen as the new pet. Everyone accepts Vinny, except Stewie; he has had too many good times with Brian. Vinny and Stewie come to realize that they both have had to get over tragedies. They hug it out. The episode ends strangely with no Brian comeback. No heroic Stewie-goes-back-in-time rescue. No unusual explanation for Brian coming back from the dead. Brian really does appear to be dead. Huh. Didn’t see that one coming.

    By: Mike Cervantes (

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